The Strange Tale Of James Blond

Once upon a time, there was a worthless, pathetic, lazy, and untalented dumbhead named James Bansamjamerwamin, ( ban-sam-jam-er-wham-in). He was unemployed, because he was to lazy to get a job. But it all changed on October 27th at exactly 11:22 PM. He was sitting at his motel room. But then, a meteor struck the motel. He yelled, " Oh my god! What the heck! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He and the other motel residents where transformed. Unfortunately for James B., he did not get any super powers but instead, he got incredibly amazing knowledge, and amazing hand-to-hand combat abilities. Unfortunately, for the city, 4 of the residents were minor criminals. But they're not so minor any more. James decided to use his new found powers to help the city. He said, " I'm gonna join the Spyz." After 5 minutes of driving and 10 hours of looking he found their hidden underground HQ. A guy came over and talked to him. He said, "You can join... as an unpaid intern." "You can take down a random robber who shots people for no apparent reason." James Bansamjamerwamin left. With a tux. He found the robber. The robber shot at him, and missed. Then James took a out a gun that was in his tux, and shot at the robber. But he didn't miss. He said, "I'll call myself, James Blond!" 50 years later, James was killed because he was tired of his life, and jumped of a bridge. THE END